It was actually warm enough to work outside today. Poor Bruce had to be uprooted and tossed - he'd been molested by a deer last year and had most of his branches stripped off and his bark torn. Sad end to a fiesty little blue spruce.
One of my best friends is considering moving. It's a big step. I want him to be happy and to have more chance to find happiness, but I hate to have him leave. I have to redouble my efforts to have someone turn up here who is perfect for him.
I am far too much a creature of habit. The thought of relocating somewhere doesn't really interest me. Although I am tired of my very deep rut. But I have a partner who is fantastic, and I can't begrudge someone else wanting to have the same. I'm not sure what I want out of life now. I think mostly I feel hemmed in by the monotony of work and the limitations of my town, but at the same time, I need the stability. All the things I dreamed of doing when I was young no longer hold the same appeal. As I go through the bookshelves and throw out all the volumes that I started collecting so long ago, I realize that I am past some of that. I want less, and I want different. I will not be a writer, I will not be a musician, I will not be a Ph.D., I will not be a contestent on Jeopardy or the Amazing Race. I wonder if, while in the chrysalis, the butterfly wonders if the shell will ever break and let it emerge. Not that I'm feeling particularly larval...
-It's got to be a gasleak. There can not be terroist Timbits. It would be too much of a pathetic joke. Okay, the guy was carrying a jerrycan of gasoline. That sounds more like it.-
Oh the humanity. More drudgery awaits tomorrow. I wish I could find something to be enthusiastic about. Stephen Harper is such a doofus. We are a nation of doofuses, next to a nation of evangelical fanatics. The world is nuts. The animals need to get together and as a group destroy the humans. It's the only hope they have. Let the cities disappear back into the jungle, and let nature reign.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Yes, another uplifting entry... I think the problem is that you set your sights too high a long time ago. Me? I never planned on amounting to much, so there's nothing to rue.
I don't know what to say except that I don't really want to go either. Like you, I feel like I'm in a rut and that leaving may be the best way to move forward and dig myself out. I go back and forth about leaving and staying numerous times each day. I still don't know what I am going to do. Maybe I won't be offered a job, that would solve things. Or maybe I will have to wait until the summer for my knee surgery. That would set things back too.
Post a Comment